Brazilian Triumph.

La Table Bresilienne
'Secret' restaurants are all the rage in New York and London these days. At least that's what the increasingly tedious Guardian food site says. Rejoice then, as we have a secret restaurant to call our own in Dakar. Although judging by the number of toubabs there on Saturday evening, it isn't much of a secret anymore.

I've a soft spot for a churrasco dinner. Something about all that meat, roasting over a big fire, then carved up rodizio-style at your table using very large knives appeals to my primal instincts. La Table Bresilienne does a good job of satisfying these instincts, and it has taken me some time to recover from over-indulgence in the various cuts of beef, pork and chicken (salty little chicken hearts that would make great pub snacks). Salads are inventive and the feijao and pork-studded farofa get a double thumbs up from the bona fide Brazilian at my table (who will hopefully forgive my attempt at spelling those dishes). Happy days.

Service is amiably slapdash and the rooftop vibes are convivial. Around 15,000FCfa per head buys you plenty of caipirinha and wine, and enough serious meat to feed a hungry shark.

Being unlicensed, I probably shouldn't say where it is or when it opens. Ask around, get the phone number from a friend, and get your booking in.


Le Loft
We've been here before, singing Le Loft's praises, and it saddens me, really saddens me, that I have to return to give it the fecking good kicking it deserves.

So much was going right. The Loft was smart, had good service, a good value menu with plenty of freebies... But on my last visit we had to ask to see the good value salon du the menu. Perhaps it was because they hardly had anything on the menu left.

When my burger arrived sans beefburger, the kitchen quickly subsitituted some hastily prepared chicken, which the lobotomised, tooth-sucking waiter tried to convince me was what I'd ordered all along. Yes really, the beefburger with green and red peppers I had ordered was actually supposed to be some slices of grilled chicken smothered in mayonnaise..? Really? I decided that laughing and shaking my head was more insulting than arguing with this cretin.

All told, the food wasn't bad at all, it was just wrong. A shame really, because no matter how good the food is, if you treat the - mild mannered and friendly - customers like a bunch of c*nts, they won't come back.

Le Loft
68 rue something or other, don't bother until they pull their fingers out.

Slightly rambling

Le Loft

The weekend starts at 1.30pm on a Friday Chez Jiffler, and usually involves a long and leisurely lunch.

I'd recommend Le Loft for a long and leisurely lunch. A newish opening in Plateau, Le Loft is a sophisticated indoor bar/salon du the/restaurant which is trying to please everyone, and may very well end up succeeding.

Inside is all dark furnishings and sleek seating, something in between the average Malmaison lobby and a Soho restaurant circa 1998. I can imagine it going down well with certain Dakar cliques once the sun sets. Daytime though, it's pretty calm. I felt a bit underdressed on Friday afternoon though, wearing a free t-shirt advertising the Badger brewery in Dorset and trousers with a ten-pence sized hole just below the right buttock.

After being greeted and shown to our table by charming and efficient staff, I braced myself for some sort of fine dining monstrosity and started to sharpen my pencils for a bruising rant on Dakar Restaurant Reviews. But what is this? Club Sandwiches? Croque Madames? Galettes? All at the kind of prices that wouldn't look out of place at Les Ambassades... well well.

A basket of decent bread came with decent butter, and the usual ketchup-piment-moutarde trio augmented by olive oil and balsamic vinegar. There must be a catch here right? The drinks were a bit on the pricey side, maybe that's it.

Mrs Jiffler went for a chicken quesadilla and I tested out the club sandwich (boring, yes, but I was on duty), but before all that, we were swiftly presented with a plate of little round deep fried fish things and home made tartare sauce.

"They get extra points for tartare sauce" reckoned Mrs Jiffler.

"Shut up and eat your little fish things"

Well I can't have her doing these reviews for me.

Meals arrived, on massive plates, with an explosion of salad. Blimey. Are you sure the prices on the menu are right? I even had to leave some chips, not because they were bad chips, but because the portion was so large and I'd stuffed my chops on bread and the little fish things beforehand. The quesadilla seemed to disappear quickly though, and I only got a chance to sample the guacamole (very good), and run my finger around the bottom of the sour cream bowl (also good).

I'm told there is also a more expensive a la carte menu "under development" as well, which currently features the usual meaty suspects, with a brief, and possibly pointless meander into Mexican territory. It might be worth a punt though. Let me know.

So let's get this straight; efficient service, smart decor, massive portions, good freebies, very reasonable price.

See you there next Friday.

Le Loft
Sorry, I forgot to pick up a card, but it's on Rue Amadou Assane Ndoye, number 62 or 63 I think. You can't miss it, it's west off the Place de L'Independance.